“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong” – Let’s Change the Name of the Game

offered freely by Hally Childs,

April 18, 1pm -3:00pm

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This event is primarily a workshop on Right/Wrong thinking in our  everyday relationships but it will be followed by an optional half hour  when we will read Thich Nhat Hanh’s “Call Me By My True Names” and focus  on Right/Wrong thinking in a larger context.

In the first part, we will do an exercise -- think of a situation  in your own life where you are strongly holding on to the judgment that  someone else is JUST WRONG. In the exercise, we will see if we can  “Make life more wonderful” by looking at the situation using an NVC lens.

The exercise is based on an early “NVC Success” that I achieved: I  had offered my cousin a nugget about my life and she responded by  telling me that I shouldn’t be doing that (NVC), that I thought this was  a way to “solve my problems”, and it wouldn’t work; instead, I should  be losing weight, and some other things that I no longer remember.  Clearly, she was WRONG to respond that way to my friendly update about  my activities. Fortunately, the exchange was in email. It took a few  days for me to use my NVC lens, but the result not only sidestepped a  fight, it helped me develop the skill to use in similar situations, and  ultimately to come up with the exercise that I think helps even NVC  newbies.

Optional meditation to follow the exercise: Sometimes I love that  I understand Marshall to be saying, in all contexts, the person  exhibiting the bad behavior was doing the best they could at that time  to meet a universal need and we want to treat them with compassion and  understanding rather than judgment. Sometimes it seems to be pretty hard  to accept this. I invite workshop participants to read the Thich Nhat Hanh poem with me and Barbra.

Although there is no fee, donations to Capital NVC are welcome!